Dear Boris – An Open Letter to My Kitten

Write a letter to someone whom you judged by first impression. It can be a serious or a humorous one! πŸ™‚

Humorous for $1000 Alex.

Dear Boris,

Let me start by saying you have been the sweetest animal I have ever owned. There now I can be truthful….. To start, I didn’t really want you. I was so comfortable in my ‘two-animal’ lifestyle that getting you seemed like a horrible idea. Sadly, I had a kryptonite influence that talked me into ‘going to look’ at you and your littermates. I know what you’re thinking – ‘no one ever just looks.’ BUT, when we got to your birth home just outside Milwaukee, I saw you. You were climbing on a pile of neatly stacked suitcases and meowing. I knew you would be a total asshole and fit in great in my home. Since you have two major assholes as siblings I also was not concerned about your ability to hold your own. Your name was even Waldo back then…. but thankfully I overrode that to call you Boris. You were sooooo tiny I was afraid I would crush you in my hands. I underestimated the power you had in the forms of sharp teeth and razor sharp claws. I also will frankly tell you, I don’t care for your bedside manners. There are better ways to wake me up than shrill ‘mew’s and a naked ass to the face – seriously.

the first 48 hours of boris with the GFK
the first 48 hours of boris with the GFK

crush you in my hands.
crush you in my hands.

Shhh just shut your face.
Shhh just shut your face.

However, you keep me company when your older brothers are both being jerks. Your inquisitive demeanor cracks me up – unless you get stuck on top of the cabinets in the kitchen – then it just gets irritating…. You are silly and love unconditionally – exactly what I needed and was lacking so desperately in my life when I got you. I know things are different now that I’m a single ‘mom’ to you, but believe me it’s way more fun just with me (ask Leopold and Vladimir!).

MEW.
MEW.

So sweet and pretty.
So sweet and pretty.


mew.
mew.

My only other complaints are that you refuse to partake in costume life, have no idea what ‘sleeping-in’ is, and you relentlessly bother your brothers to the point where they try to harm you. So all fixable things……

I am now an official crazy cat lady for having written this letter to you Boris – but I’m sure glad I have you. Alas, the life as an owner of a tribe is sometimes bizarre, but it’s never dull.

XXX
The lady who feeds you everyday and lets you play with yarn.

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11 thoughts on “Dear Boris – An Open Letter to My Kitten

  1. Awww he’s so cute. As a recent convert to the feline world (I have 2 kittens) I laugh at how minxy their ways are. Plus I agree. ..what is it with cats putting their bums in your face :-p

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